did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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