I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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