I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
