So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
