My room smells like vodka and shame
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
