Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize