I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
