Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
