I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
