Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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