i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
