dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
they're like a gay fantastic four
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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