They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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