adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
