I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
