'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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