i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Alive.
So much puke
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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