Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
