Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
