Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
