he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
