I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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