I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
