If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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