The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
