i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
