What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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