I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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