Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hope mine doesn't look like that
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
