even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
