Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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