Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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