he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
