How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
