apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
