Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
