Michael Bay diarrhea
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
