just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
