OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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