I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize