U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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