Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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