I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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