I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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