i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
