we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
