My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
