I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
