i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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