did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize