i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize