pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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