Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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