Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
