you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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