But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
