God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
