I feel like I'm in dance class right now
literally had 100 drinks last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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