I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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