porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
