whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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